Reflections: The Day AFTER The BIG Day

Just before Ben and I became engaged (I had a hunch it was coming) I wrote this below to give him on our wedding day. Needless to say, nothing went as planned! I was 3 hours late to the wedding venue because I regret to inform you, I LEE, had a "melt down" over my hair. (Shocker, I know!) Emmy Belle was the only brave soul who would sit with me as I squalled about my: "Stringy, frizzy, too curly, not curly enough, bleach blonde, 'Oh my! I see roots!!'"head of hair. To which she finally couldn't watch anymore and imparted her 4 year old words of wisdom upon me. As she settled into a chair with a story book to wait on me and thumbed through the pages she said, "Lee-lee, don't cry! You know that God made everybody and he made everybody SO, SO perfect. And you are perfect and very pretty." It was at this moment I was able to bring everything back into perspective. The simple words of a child. Her simple understanding of the world and God's love. Ben loved me no matter what, even with no make-up and ugly hair. I wiped my tears and replied, "Thank you Emmy. Yes, I know, He did make everyone so perfect because He loves us all, right?"She jumped out of the cozy chair, threw her book on the floor and replied, "YES! He loves us!!! Just like I love you! Can we go to your wedding now so I can throw the flowers and eat your cake?!"Of course, Emmy Belle. HAHA! Within minutes I was dressed, hair, head piece and all, walking out the door to walk down the aisle to meet the right, "one".

Let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth."
1 John 3:18

I know words can mean nothing. Sadly, I've witnessed this one too many times in my short lifetime. Our love for each other and our love for Christ is an ACTION. Not just words, not beautiful prayers. But what we DO. And what we do with our words.
HOW we ACT.
How we LOVE.
I saw this in Emmy Belle's sweet heart that day when her little words and her bravery to stick around when no one else could stand me.
I feel this everyday that share with Benjamin. Oh my! I have gotten off track! More on this subject later! With that I'll finish my thoughts and share a piece of my love to my Mr.I wish I had a photo of the moment that Emmy and I shared on the floor of her bedroom as I got ready, but I don't. Sadly, "Bridezilla" had scared everyone off (For the record: it was my only "Bridezilla" moment for the ENTIRE wedding season! Gold star for me, right?!) For now however, I will leave you with what I wrote to my Benjamin, that I presented to him just after our wedding and a few photos of the quiet moments we shared the next day hiking in the crisp January cold.

01.01.2011

I must confess, I have had to defy my own gravity;

And during our 3^rd chapter, there came a day when I had to let go and just love you.

Just as you have loved me.

For 963,950,400 moments

You’ve loved me and made sure that I knew it!

That’s 1,834 days.

There have been days we have been far a part

But there was still a love.

And days when we just simply couldn’t say goodbye.

Then you REALLY loved me!

There have been days of absolute and utter personal devastation

Days when there was nothing left but a shell.

Yet you still love;

Even when we weren’t speaking, you called to make sure I was still breathing and remind me that there is always tomorrow.

You’ve lifted me up in prayer and in smiles and awful jokes.

“We’ve sat in the ash of stupid words can’t take back”

Yet we have still loved each other.

You bring out the BEST in me.

You help push me, because you know, like I, You have to change to grow.

You help to remind me of the faith I must exercise as a daughter of the Prince of Peace.

We’ve always been genuine and honest in every part of our lives with each other

And we still love.

They say the best duos are not those who look into each other’s eyes but those who look into the directions.

We wake each morning knowing that when we were born, the Lord provided us with a great inheritance (Ephesians 1:13,14)

In return we serve His Kingdom.

You are a soldier for Christ, just as I am a soldier for Christ

We will not serve ourselves but the Lord first and then those around us and each other.

In tandem each day as Paul tells us in Ephesians we will “Take up the Whole Armor of the God”.

Fastening on the belt of truth

Putting on the breastplate of righteousness

Shoes for our feet, in readiness given by the gospel of peace.

Taking up the shield of faith, to extinguish all the flaming darts of evil.

Taking the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit.

And with that, together we will persevere in the name of the Lord as His ambassadors. (Ephesians 6:10-20)

We are NOT perfect humans but we try. That’s what the Lord calls us to do.

“you and I are best because we know we gotta try”

I stand here before you, promising to try every day, to be a Godly wife,

To be the funny girl, the pretty girl, so yes, I WILL brush my teeth once in while!

The same girl that you met in an 8 am college class which in itself is a miracle that I actually showed up on time to sit in the back and next to you.

To be the same girl who totally stalked you on MYSPACE!

And introduced you to the world of crafts and cookies with munchkin brothers and sisters

Yet I promise to be the girl, who will always see the unbridled beauty of horses,

The girl who is also the woman who wants to change the world and love this life of lemonade as much as possible

I promise to be supporting you in the endeavors that the He calls as I know you support me.

I commit to you this life, within this circle of love.

May the Lord bless you and protect you and shine His face upon us both and be gracious to us, may He give us peace.

Once you choose hope anything is possible.

That day in our chapter 3, I knew it would be you in my heart always.

So with this:

I promise to love you more than any other, in good times and in bad;

I promise to be slow to anger and quick to forgive and to treat each morning as a new opportunity to share life and love with you.

I love you forever Benjamin.

Got to LOVE those honeymoon self portraits!

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

-- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

About the Honeymoon......

Looks like we were excited!

Don't I resemble Lovey Howell from Gilligan's Island here?!

We spent some quite time in Nashville after the wedding and then onto a Caribbean cruise for just a few days before settling back in Mobile.

We received a very generous gift via email (loved it!) from our families after we were engaged.

Title: Important message regarding the Gooch/Emanuel wedding

Dear Lee and Ben,

this is an important note from:

Jeff, Donna, Leslie, and Betsy,

that's right,... your parents ~ so listen up!

We all love you both, and we are very happy, thrilled actually, that you have decided to spend your lives together. We realize that there are a few slightly stressful constraints on putting your wedding together with time and funds in short supply. But, we'll all work together and get this done for a beautiful, peaceful, and joyous time spent celebrating your love and commitment to each other. It will be wonderful with family and friends to enjoy this special day with you.

We do have a small surprise for you,... and since time is short, we will need to go on and let you know about this little surprise, today! (as some additional steps may be needed for this)

Please click the link below to see how and where we would like for you to spend your first few days together as newlyweds.

We hope you'll be safe and well while you are away ~

We know you'll enjoy such a beautiful place to relax and do nothing together ~

We wish for you to have fun, fun, fun ~

~ and we pray for both of you as you begin this new season of your lives together ~

(and please remember to always pray with, and for each other,...very important ~)

now on to your surprise ~ Lee, this is really for Ben, because I know you have already gone to to bottom of the email to see what this is all about, before you even read the words! and Ben knows I'm probably right!,... (Miss 'can't stand not knowing things'!!!.... hahaha)

and trust me Ben, it's going to make y'all happy... so go on and check it out.... oh, and...

please contact the 'parent section' of the Ben and Lee fan club for further info that you will need in order to fully participate in this surprise!! ok ~ here ya go....enjoy, enjoy, we love you ~

talk to you soon !

betsy, leslie, donna and jeff

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

From Lee and Ben: Thank you Mom and Dad! You'll all be glad to know that we are BOTH back on dry land and no one ended up "overboard" while cruising.... :-)

We could have stayed here for days :-)

October Visit To Nashville

Matthew showing me his new design and where his new "Fort" will go
SISTERS!!! Together again!

Back in October I got to come home for the weekend to see my family and attend a friend's wedding. My Benjamin so lovingly drove one Wednesday from Nashville to Mobile in a record 7 hours post pharmacy work, had a business meeting at the University at 9 AM the next morning, then drove me from Mobile to Nashville in time for me to see my family before bedtime. While I got to enjoy the afternoon and share in fall festivities with my little brothers and sisters (see photos below), Ben was on groomsmen duty all afternoon/evening Friday and all day on Saturday. Then Sunday, Ben threw himself BACK in the CAR to get me back to Mobile for a BIG exam (which I made an "A" on! Thank you BEN). He stayed up late with me to assist in my studies and then left Monday morning to head BACKto Nashville for a 12 hour work day the following day! If any of you are counting, YES, Ben spent approximately 32 + hours in the car withing a 3 day period, on the interstate, losing time, money and sleep, just to see me and bring a smile to my face! Have I told y'all how much I LOVE that man!! If not, keep following this blog and you'll soon find out.... For now, check our 2010 pumpkins that the "pumpkins" helped me carve. (Note: no children were physically harmed in the carving of these pumpkins (ignore the choice of carving utensils) though they may be scarred for having to clean out the pumpkin seeds, apparently it looks like, well, you know....)



I am sorry Bo, Jack and Hannah were unavailable to be photographed for this trip due to their lack of cooperativeness... Here are their representative pumpkins....maybe real photos next time.

The Proposal!

From Ben:

Oh, the proposal.....

So...some of you may be saying, engaged??? Or maybe...engaged!!!

Well, no matter what your reaction, here is the story of how I surprised the girl who hates surprises.

You have read our story by now, or you know it because you were there for a part of it. I speak for both Lee and I to tell you that we are so very grateful for everyone's help along the way no matter how big or small.

This all started when we spent the last 2 months, 500 miles apart and missing each other more and more everyday. We had talked about marriage many times in the past. This time was different however. Naturally we both loosely ran the idea by our respective families and soon there after we were suddenly picking dates and shopping details and all WITHOUT a ring or a certain question! (This is where the train left the station without both Lee and I on it! ha!) I had not even talked to her dad yet. I will say that there was never a doubt in my mind about asking her, but I wanted a little more surprise involved...a little romance if you will. The reason this was needed to be discussed now is simple. We could not stand to be apart, did not want to live together before marriage, and because of Lee's school schedule, would have had to endure the separation for another year or more if not now.

Fast forward a few weeks, and a few more plans, and one AGITATED Lee Emanuel. Why you ask? Well I still had not asked the question yet. She was getting to the point that she was almost willing to accept an emailed proposal! She would say, "Whenever we discuss marriage I always say, 'No, no, no, not yet!' and now that I'm all in, you make me WAIT!!!" Little did she know that I had in fact purchased a ring, talked to all parental parties, and even started a little creative story telling involving me not asking her for a while in order to "preserve the romance" and wait until the school semester was over. This is where the fun begins, and it involves more creative stories and alot of help from her family to pull it off.

Here is the fabricated story in short...basically Lee was to be picked up by her Aunt Jan and Uncle Dennis, under the guise of "catering work" for and FCA event, all things she loved, work, catering work, Aunt Jan and Uncle Dennis and FCA. Naturally, the servant that Lee is, was happy to help. Meanwhile, as I am racing to Mobile, AL from Nashville, TN with her sister/photographer in toe in order to make her moment easily remembered I am telling her that I "can't talk" because I have to go into work at another store as a "fill-in", this way she would not call me at work for the rest of the afternoon. You see...she was being lured to her favorite spot on Mobile Bay, a pier in Fairhope, AL overlooking the water and at sunset. This is a spot where Lee and I have shared many moments in the recent past and the only spot to tell her how much I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. In order to get her there, they told here that the catering 'event' was running behind and they had time to catch the sunset on the pier. Lee was terribly excited about the extra time before lots of work that night, because she had brought her camera to capture Mobile Bay just in case this exact thing happened!

Fast forward again to Jill and I arriving early to scope out the place. This is where my nerves are starting to kick in. I was starting to talk excessively and scrutinize every detail while I waited for my unsuspecting love to arrive. Needless to say, Jill was thoroughly entertained with my now ridiculous behavior.

Soon, I have taken my place with ring in hand and disguise ready to go. Jill is in place with the camera, Lee's grandmother, Mimi, has arrived in her very own disguise, looking much like a mysterious movie star in the airport and finally the transport team has arrived to meet the surveillance team for action!!! The only thing left is to surprise Lee!!! By now my heart is literally pounding, I am blinded by the setting sun and straining to find Lee on the pier. I am desperately trying to find her without blowing my cover.

Suddenly, I hear the whistle from Jill telling me she is coming...I spot her and wait...she passes me by, taking photos of me, while I pray she doesn't notice it's me! Luckily, she wasn't wearing her glasses and she was quite enthralled with the amazing picture that the Lord had painted for us that day! I spring into action...GAMETIME!!! I come from behind her and call her name...she doesnt turn around...I call again and she even kind wants to run away a bit!!! haha! I call one last time(third times a charm ;) and she turns around and sees that its me!

Here is where she gives me the biggest surprised look I have ever seen and is in total shock. We hug and kiss, she calls me a liar, and I tell her that I need to talk to her..I tell her that I love her very much, and just had to surprise her with something since we were doing this planning thing a little backward. I tell her that I had to bring her to the water and sunset to tell her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life making her feel like the luckiest and most beautiful girl in the world. The entire time she is saying OMG! OMG! OMG! I dont think she even heard me words, except "Will you marry me" on bended knee...In fact, she even asked me to say it twice! I was so nervous I said it very quickly. At this point, there is a line of perfect strangers and family screaming in joy, blocking the pier and in turn, giving me a bit of stage fright! She said, "YES!" I stood up, took the ring from the box and placed it on her finger and the family revealed the rouse. She still had not seen Jill! After several posed photos, she realized I brought her a personal photographer and the entire event was caught on camera!

We later exchanged hugs and tears and laughter and parted ways from the family for a little alone time on the pier and soon to dinner to enjoy the moment. On the way to the restaurant we had a fortuitous moment when "Marry Me" by Train came on the radio ;) Truly a perfect moment for both of us and I am very grateful to everyone who helped me surprise the most special person in my life. Lee, I love you very much and can't wait to start our life together!

Love you forever... Your Benjamin

In our typical humorous fashion: here we are sharing a sunset kiss...next to the garbage can....

Just in case you want to see the amazing photos that Jillian (and Lee too) captured that day, check it out here:

www.onetruemedia.com/shared

Our Story

The two of us back in 2006 when I was working for a children's party company and Benjamin was "Prince Charming" in the form of being my driver on the weekends.

The Beginning:

Ben and Lee met at school in 2005. After surviving an entire fall semester of 8 AM classes, Benjamin finally struck up the nerve to talk to Lee (sitting next to each other most of the semester but refusing to say anything past 'Hello" and "Man! That was a hard exam!"). They were both exempt from the final and as Lee was waltzing out the door Ben saw his chance to have her undivided attention. They chatted in the hallway, wishing each other a "Merry Christmas" before going their separate ways. Basically, Lee "SHUT HIM DOWN" (haha). Fast forward two weeks, Lee was at home enjoying her break and decided to search that cute, tall guy with the pretty blues on MYSPACE. She found him. They became friends. They commented on each others photos and music choices. You know, what all MYSPACE friends do.......Then Ben realized this was his chance: This was opportunity #2 to try to ask this chick out! Insert what should have been Benjamin's background music for the week: www.youtube.com/watch A few days later, he went for it and asked her to join him on the eve of Christmas Eve for some "last minute" items. She said, "YES"! Now they were both doing the HAPPY DANCE and finding the perfect outfit! Ben readily admits he tried on three different pair of jeans before walking out the door. Lee will only admit to as many as four wardrobe changes, but you and I both know there were many more, including the flamingo pose to find the perfect pair of shoes! Because we all know that guys look at their date's shoes first! After a fantastic afternoon of window shopping, music sharing and story swapping they agreed to catch up after Christmas. That was the beginning of Chapter One for Lee and Ben. The following months were filled with late nights on the phone, movies, Sunday school dates, and what proved to be a great time of spiritual growth. The attendance of PASSION '06, a college student worship conference in Nashville that year really got Ben and Lee off to a great start. They parted ways late that summer but were never very far from each other :-)The Lord took each of them down separate paths only to bring them back together in 2008. It was then that they realized they were definitely "Better Together" www.youtube.com/watch.

Lee's path had become a bit weathered and Benjamin arrived just in time to pick up the pieces. Their summer romance was put on pause when Ben got the amazing opportunity to visit the beautiful country of Greece and it's people on a Mission trip. Little did Benjamin know that God's work was not done at the end of his mission trip.

On the Sunday morning that Ben was to return to the States, Lee's sister, Jillian was in a near tragic car accident on her way home from church. The Emanuel family grounded to a screeching halt as they rushed to the ICU unit of Vanderbilt and looked to the Lord for His wisdom and comfort. Lee was chosen to "Man the HOUSE" ALONE during the crisis!! Not only was she trying to stay faithful and calm, she was trying to comfort her small brothers and sisters too. No sooner did the wheels of Benjamin's plane land in Nashville was he on his way to help serve, protect and comfort in any way he could at the Emanuel house that night. For several days they were there side-by-side reminding each other the He never gives us more than we can handle even though it felt like He had forgotten about them because their world was falling a part. It was then that Lee leaned on Ben for strength and he stood strong in the Lord to remind her of the the great inheritance they had chosen as small children and as a soldier in Christ, she would never be left behind,to simply keep looking forward and acting now. Small funny moments and prayer seemed to be what recharged and they became masters of changing diapers, fixing juice cups, playing video games, cleaning up dog food off the floor and getting "Jill" updates.

In the following weeks/months the Lord showed His will to all involved and Jillian was able to heal up enough to leave the hospital and eventually make a full recovery. He had also done work in the hearts of Ben and Lee. A great deal of trust was formed between the two and they began together at MTSU that fall, enjoying college life and once again surviving 8 AM classes and other terrors of the academic world. As we come to the end of Chapter Two, it seemed that God's perfect timing was not quite in place for Benjamin and Lee.

In early winter of 2009 they parted ways once again.

They "dated other people". While Lee took on the role of 'working college girl', Benjamin took on the role of being mad at Lee................He was so upset with Lee that he refused ALL forms of communication from Lee for several months. This tactic eventually proved successful for Benjamin and Lee quit calling. Ben then realized this wasn't exactly his desired outcome and maybe his game of "hard to get" was for the birds. By the next fall they were friends again. Knowing that having and loving a best friend is more important than having a grudge. They talked, but only about prime time television, their health and the weather......haha! In His perfect timing, the Lord worked on their hearts and His perfect will was about to be revealed. In the coming months Ben and Lee made a promise to each other to forever be friends, "no matter what" and live in the moment. The Lord promises us today, not tomorrow. So they lived each day with an attitude of gratitude for the blessings that were bestowed upon them but mostly for each other. This was the beginning of Chapter Three. And you and I both know, "Third time is a CHARM"!
October 2010 :-)